Your healing is not yours..

They say healing is a process.

But I don't believe that the process belongs to me.

What if there is a world where your healing is not yours but the responsibility of people who broke you.

This one is for me. This post is for me.

I am not broken. I just have some parts of me hurt and a heart of mine is having trouble trusting someone.

I mean it shouldn't be this way.

I know the things I deal with are nothing compared to what people have to deal with on a daily basis.

What if all the broken parts of you should be mended by the people who are responsible for the damage. You are an amazing innocent soul who gave everything to a person, thing, or situation. You shouldn't be bothered with the baggage of pain.

I am tired of people losing their right ones just because they aren't ready. It's not the job of a new person in your life to make you feel alive. It has to be the person that did you wrong. They should take away all the pain that you've been through, they are accountable for all the sleepless nights, the dark circles, the gray hair, and the stinging pain that traverses your whole body now and then. They need to pay for every drop of tear, every ounce of love wasted, and every damn second of your time.

You are afraid to start something new

a friendship,

relationship,

trust,

love,

Life?

I want the people who gave the pain to take away everything with them because they need to fix what's broken because of them. They are responsible.

Yell at them," If you are leaving, then take everything. All the love, memories, and pain. I can't be afraid anymore. I can't let my past dictate my future. I can't let people who didn't cause the pain help me fix it. I don't want to burden the pure souls to handle the worst of me when I used to have the best of me wasted on you. You are going to get me, myself back. I would rather live with the regret of no memories of us than the pain that withholds me from making new."

The world doesn't run my way. But if it did.

It would be great. We wouldn't need to go to war with sunshine and butterflies instead, we would be binge-watching with burgers and fries.

ooh!ooh!

I almost forgot!

Drink more water macha!

Comments

NOT-A-DAMN-THING.

So yeah! After a gigantic gap, here I am with absolutely nothing. Hmm. Where to start? Where to start?? Well, we’ll start from the beginning — a very good place to start. Over the years, I’ve been asked why I stopped writing. I was told that if you’re preaching something, you’d better be doing it first. I know. What a moron! I’m 26 now. Time is a very cruel thing. I feel 19, but I’m 26, and my body seems to be functioning like 58 , while my health feels closer to 70. I’m now scared of everything. No longer the baddie on the street — just bad at everything. Enough of the self- loathing, though. But damn, I’ve become good at it. I always was. Why am I writing this? No idea. What is this about? NOTHING. I’ve been watching Seinfeld and Gilmore Girls on repeat lately. I stopped writing altogether. No journals, no blogs, no captions, and definitely no late- night quotes in my notes. Not writing felt like Jess screaming. And for everyone asking about it, my response would be something like:...

Where I belong.

Where I belong. I didn't realize that I had to run To find a place to call it mine, To call it home. My heart was racing faster than my legs. Out I was right into the woods, Right into the darkness, Right into the horizon. Wandering with a map and a compass. I wanted to walk but my legs wanted to run.. I was wandering, running and searching to a place where I belong I was in search of a better place, better space but all I got was a bitter fall on my face. I got up. I'm afraid that I would run far far far away towards the North searching for a place where I belong. But I ended up realizing the road is my home and that's where I belong.

Let's just focus..

Hey there, what up people! So, yesterday when I was busy scrolling the feed on my insta , I heard someone on the reels sing: " I'm mad at 20-20, the Virus scared me!" She was really mad, trust me. 2020. Mhmm. People said the virus was scary. I am afraid of people more than the virus. 2020 is not the worst year. But sure as hell it did have its share of good and bad happenings. Grateful for all the good things that happened. Felt a bit sad and still recovering from the sad bad things. But, Isn't it the routine every year? I know 2020 has brought death near to us but let's get real. 2020 is just “ karma doing it's work ”. If only in the early 2000's we weren't that leeches sucking life out of nature and insane homosapeins taking wild weird decisions of eating bats, assaulting other earthlings and basically being human of the modern era; cards would have been different. Half the population would be in Vegas gambling and the other half would be cringing...

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