P!nK BoW

I turned 22, you guys! Life-changing things are happening around me. This post might not be the one you want, but this blog is just me having a conversation with myself. I am in a good place. There is a roof on my head, no scarcity of basic needs, a job in a renowned company, decent pay, and a life that is a dream to many others.  I am grateful. I am genuinely happy. No, I am just lying about the happy thing. I do not know. I am just searching for something better. What? Just kidding though! I do not know what I am looking for in life! I want myself to be happy. I want to do something that I am proud of and do something that I want and need. I want to prove to myself that I am worthy and not to the world. I want to work. Work my arse off. I want to create. I want to earn. I want to build things; contribute to society; by society, I mean nature. I want to do the things that matter. I do not want to feel jealous when someone else is living the dream that I am living in my dreams at n...

I’ve always wished I were special. Always seen me as an extraordinary human who can have the world. This is me, a 21-year-old me, understanding that I am not extraordinary. I am not even special. I am just an ordinary person with dreams. With illusions. I don’t stand unique in the crowd. I don’t attract the eye. I am not the show stopper. These hard-core facts made me question myself one thing, "Why do you need to be extraordinary?" Since a very young age, I’ve always been on my toes to prove that I am stronger, smarter, funnier, and prettier. I sometimes still try to be that child, trying so hard to be something I am not. Now what I am here, in this stage of my life, I need nothing more than a simple life. I know I am not enough. I know I am not perfect. I know I am not beautiful. I know I am not extraordinary. And I also know that I am okay with me not being extraordinary. I try so hard to please people that I forget to honor my body and soul's efforts to make me happy....

Where I belong. I didn't realize that I had to run To find a place to call it mine, To call it home. My heart was racing faster than my legs. Out I was right into the woods, Right into the darkness, Right into the horizon. Wandering with a map and a compass. I wanted to walk but my legs wanted to run.. I was wandering, running and searching to a place where I belong I was in search of a better place, better space but all I got was a bitter fall on my face. I got up. I'm afraid that I would run far far far away towards the North searching for a place where I belong. But I ended up realizing the road is my home and that's where I belong.

Outdated Perceptions and Comfort Zones Somewhere being non-opinionated and neutral, I didn't realize the power of positive and healthy criticism. It's not always the hype. It's about feeling this thing of throwing someone falling off the cliff having complete faith that they'll grow wings and fly. Off the cliff is what I used figuratively. A healthy criticism improves a person. Isn't that what we need? I believe that we grow when we outgrow our outdated perceptions and comfort zones. Why does everything in my blog have to be motivating? I don’t know. Why am I posting every day? I don’t know. Why am I this annoying? I don’t know. Do I have everything figured out? (After a very long..) I don't know a thing. Seriously, I just write my blogs at 3 am and I post them in the evening because I sleep in the morning. I may end up contradicting my lines. I don't care that much. All I do is write down the things that my mind thinks and my heart approves. At 3 am when my...

Men Are Trying. #MAT  Not every man is the same. I believe this. Women these days are exploring themselves in every which way. Every day they have a new better definition for everything in their life. As we live in a complex society, it takes time for any human to adjust to the new normal, to the new style, and the new definitions. In a world where women are busy redefining themselves each day, men are trying to explore themselves too. They are trying so hard to understand the dynamics of a woman. They are willing to put their shoes in a woman's perspective and are trying to comprehend things. On one side we have men evolving and on the other, we have men with thick skulls not wanting to understand how things work in the 21st century. It isn't just about a specific gender, we still quite find some orthodox earthlings. All it takes is the right education to place things right in this puzzle called life. Not all of them have figured it out but every single male person out there i...

The Monster in You. #TMIY When a friend of mine asked me my opinion about this thing “ The Monster in You”; I told her I would get back to her by the end of the day. Well, that day was a long bad day and I just slipped that thought into a never-coming future. My mind has these very peculiar things running inside it and I was mentally not free enough to give attention to “The Monster in You”. The past couple of months, I kept complaining about the way things were going on in my life and that is all I was doing. I did nothing. I did nothing to resolve the issues that were making me constantly grumpy. I don’t know how to describe it and I don’t know that I will ever find ways to describe it. I didn’t know how to cope with the things that made me miserable. Days went by and I was suffering alone. Why? Because someone inside me wants to share nothing. I guess that’s the monster in me. That someone inside me is always pulling me back when I want to share my pain. Just like the virus mutates,...

Today, when I was scrolling through Instagram at 3:38 am in the morning, I read a quote " I hope that you heal from the things you don't tell anyone" and that hit me hard.  Like "stop scrolling and write about it" hard. So yeah, here we are. We all suffer in silence. We are not appreciated on a daily basis. We all have problems and we tend to ignore them by sleeping or by zoning out or by listening to music. All I am saying is that I know you are doing something right now that you don't want to. You are this close to leaving all the shit and running away. I get it. Maybe I don't. Well, you have your plate full and shoes filled with nails, so the only sane option for you right now seems to sleep. I don't know you, to judge you. Not that I would judge you if I know you. It is not my job to have opinions on the way you deal with your stuff. My job here is to make this world a better place for you that would help you make decisions that hurt you less. ...